Happiness comes from within.

"You are just about as Happy as you make up your mind to be"

Abe Lincoln

My life has not been perfect. Who's is?
I was blessed with great parents who loved each other and from my view had a happy marriage.
Therefore I thought that marriage was a great thing and I wanted to be married since I can remember.
Have children and live happily ever after. Un Huh!!
Well, looking back I was always happy.
Did I have problems? You bet I did . I married the first boy who asked me after knowing him only 3 months.
Well, marriage is always a good thing Right?
We had 3 wonderful children together but I was disappointed as the marriage was not what I had expected.
This boy was not a good father in  my opinion. At least he was not like my dad. 
He was I suppose like his dad.
His parents did not have the kind of marriage my parents did so we saw marriage very differently.
 I won't go into details about our life together for 2 reasons. It was 50 years ago and I don't remember details like I would if it was more recent and 
2. He after all is my children's father and my grandchildren's grandfather.
So I will leave it here except to say we got a divorce after 10 years when the children were very young.
However this is about happiness so i will say I always was happy inside my heart. My mom and friends were surprised when I got a divorce because I had always seemed happy. 

I raised the children by myself changing jobs and places to live over the years in an effort to improve our lives. 
I felt like I was doing pretty good. Not sure how the kids felt. They were all very different like most kids are and each one I am sure saw our life in a different way. 
I dated a man who was very good to us and without him I am sure I would have had to go on welfare, something I dreaded doing. I am grateful that I did not have to. 
After 10 years of dating we married and so did my children. They had 7 children between them making me a very blessed grandmother. 
My years with my grandchildren were my very happiest. I enjoyed them so very much. 
Again I was always happy in my heart, but these 7 awesome grandchildren made me laugh and when they came over to spend the night we watched movies drank root beer and ate popcorn. etc.
 Let me say they kept me young. 

Then came 1994 I was 54 years old and the doctors found breast cancer.
Surgery and a year on chemo and you may find this an odd thing to say but that year was one of my most peaceful and blessed years I have ever had. You could say I was happy. Back then a lot was not known about breast cancer and frankly I thought I was going to die. 
That is how bad the chemo made me feel. I know now it was the chemo. 
I felt blessed with the life I had. There were 30 people in the waiting room when I had surgery. My surgeon said he had to hurry and get me to the operating room to make room in the waiting room for others. Lol!!! My beloved daughter and daughter in laws went to my house and cleaned it and got me clothes to fit loosely for comfort after my surgery. I had a mastectomy. 
 Cards and flowers filled our home. People I did not know were praying for me. It was the most blessed time of my life and in my heart, yes, I was happy. I told God I was thankful for all I have and although I never had the kind of husband I dreamed of  I was ready to die. 
I lived as you probably have figured out because here I am 20 years later.
 I am writing this and I am 73 years old about to turn 74 soon. 
I changed a lot after the cancer and left my 2nd husband because he was very controlling and although that was something I needed over the years I now wanted and needed to live my life the way I wanted to. 
I spent 12 years living alone and  ran a breast cancer support group on line
 and started a business on the internet.
They were years of doing whatever I wanted to do and although alone I was very happy thinking I would live alone the rest of my life.

Now along comes another chapter of my life. My biggest surprise. 
My high school sweetheart came back into my life. 
He had been married 50 years to the same woman and had 3 children and 2 grandchildren.
I guess you could say he had the marriage I had always dreamed of. He was blessed.
Sad to say he lost his wife of cancer and was in a very sad place at the time.
Our friendship that we had as teens seem to just continue where we had left off. 
My fight with cancer and losing my dad, mom and sister to cancer seemed to help me in being able to help him with his depression and fight to go on living after losing his wife. 
Together we talked and cried and caught up with each others lives. 
I would like to believe my happy heart helped pull him back up and into life again. 
Abe Lincoln said:
"You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be"
And although life for us has not been perfect we are making up our minds to be as happy as we can be as long as we both shall live.

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We got married Feb. 14th 2013
We are enjoying our families together. 
We are blessed.