**************
Stories from Around the world from women with Breast Cancer
Read the Stories.
My Story:===
JUDY:==== In 1992 I found a lump. I went to my doctor right away and had a mamogram and it showed the lump but I was told it was nothing to worry about. I did go see a surgeon who agreed. It was a very small lump, about the size of a pea, however it bothered me and it wasn't till 1994, 2 years later that they found it to be cancer and it had spread to 4 lymphs nodes. I lost one of my breasts and had to do chemo for 9 months. My only message to other people is to get that lump taken out or get a ultra sound. If they know there is one there even if they say its nothing. Atleast an ultra sound will see more. My niece found one 2 years later and they told her it was nothing and because of me she made them give her an ultra sound and yup, you guessed it . It was cancer. But because she found it early, she did not lose her breast. Now I am sorry to say my sister has it. Guess it runs in our family. DO YOU THINK????
*********************
I will be 6 years cancer free next month. :) I am feeling good...I am still on tamoxifin...My eyes have improved, I now have 20 20 vision..Doubt that its the tamoxifin but at least my eyes are good...I help moderate a support group on line..And keep busy adding stories to this site..and I have added a link page and an award page...I am thinking at my grandaughter Stephanies suggestion as to putting a page with definitions of the different meds that are for cancer.. I still think about cancer everyday...Maybe cause of this site or cause of the support group I am in...But I figure its ok to think about it cause it keeps me taking care of my self and being aware of how my body feels...I still go for check ups every 6 months..My doctor doesn't order anything but blood work..Wondering what other doctors do..Seems they should do more...I guess since I say I feel good then why check anything needlessly...Thats about it for now. Judy
*********************
*********************
DEC 2007..13 years ago Dec 5th ( we all remember our date don't we?) Well I was dx that day. I was 54 years old and had found a lump 2 years ago, that the doctors had told me was NOT breast cancer. I always had a feeling. So on Dec. 5th 1994 when the gal who took my mamogram said call your doctor when you get home. I knew....By the time I arrived home, my doctor had called me. Within a week I was in the hospital having my left breast removed. A week later I did get upset to cuz I found out it had gone to 4 nodes. This should not have happened. This taught me that you have to be responsible for your self and I tell all women if they find a lump, "GET IT OUT" I was then put on chemo for a year and took tamoxifin for five years...The blessings that came from it all, was that I found out how much I was loved and I met many wonderful people who helped me through it and since have made many new friends who have taken this journey and we all feel a common bond. I hope this Blog will bring more freinds and that you will feel free to vent and ask questions as we start this new blog together. Please tell us a little about your journey when you join.
Hugs! Judy
More Stories:
================================================================================
SANDY’S STORY MICHIGAN
Hello everyone,
My name is Sandra and I turned 50 in January. I am married, have one son who will soon be 31, exists out of state and whom I also have little contact with. (I can relate to you Pat) I also have a grandaughter who will be 7 this April that I adopted in 2000 but have raised since Oct 1996 when she was 6 months old. So she is by all means my daughter.
I found my lump in my breast in August 2002, made appt with my GYN in Sept, was sent for mammograms and ultrasound, another mammogram, then off to see the breast surgeon. Had a core biopsy in the office...all 5 samples were negative; however due to the size of the lump 2.8 cm and an enlarged lymph node not previously detected, my surgeon wanted to remove it regardless and send it all for biopsy. While still in the OR the doc and pathologist already were about 98% sure it was malignant. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer of my left breast in early Oct 2002. So I was staged at 2 with positive nodes (2 out of 17) and graded at 3 for being very aggressive. I am HER-2 positive. I had a modified radical mastectomy on Oct 31.
I am presently undergoing chemo, I had 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxin and have had my first of 4 treatments of Taxotere on Feb 1st. My next treatment is Feb 28 as I get a treatment every 21 days. With CBC's in between. I will not get radiation due to the low node involvement. It was suggested I may have been interested in a clinical trial with Herceptin but due to the fact that I have had a heart attack in 1997 and with Adriamycin possibly being toxic on the heart and Herceptin as well...the docs said to forget the Herceptin/clinical trial and not risk it. I too had a MUGA Scan, CAT Scan and Bone Scan but was told they would not be repeated. Which in my opinion stinks and is probably due to the cost and my HMO. My WBC right now are down with my grans at 0.5 so I have been advised to stay away from crowds. I have been very lucky with the treatments in that I have not vomitted , the anti-nausea drugs worked for me and now being on the Taxotere I am told it may not be as big of a threat. I found the metallic taste to dissappear in a few days. However the bad taste and smell with the Taxotere stayed with me or a full week and my mouth also was extremely sore. But I have been anemic also since this cancer has hit me so the sore mouth is nothing new. Depression and fatigue was my biggest problem with the treatments. But I am doing fine and am eager to get this behind me. When I do I need to get a biopsy on my cervix as my pap had also come back adnormal. We'll see.
I am bald as the AC did it in within 2 weeks after my first treatment...that was hard. But it sure gets me out of the house a lot faster. Now my eyelashes are almost gone and I look like an alien. I can scare my little dog when I pop my wig off at him. He barks at me. I am a dog lover and am owned by two affenpinschers Buster (8) and Whoopi (6).
All in all fighting this has not been as bad as I had anticipated in the past. My husbands mother and sister have both passed on from metastasized BC years ago. I did not have it in my family so I really never worried but we all know that having it in our families isn't the biggest risk factor...being a woman is. When I found out I was in disbelief but then I had this strange sense of calm come over me and I just felt like I could do this. I didn't feel sick so I won't let this get me. I also have a pretty good sense of humor and I find things to laugh at...it helps to keep up those endorphins. That is so hard to do at times, especially when you are sick or not feeling well. I got up every morning after surgery looked in the mirror and cried. But that was the end of it for the day, it was enough for me. Our minds play a big part of our healing. If we feel like victims for too long , we become victims. I tell myself I can do this and I will. But yes, this will haunt me for the rest of my life I'm sure. Everyone is different and everyone deals with it in their own way. I have my bad days too, I just won't let them become the majority and the longer I go thru this the better I feel in knowing it too soon will end. I sometimes think this is a test. I have had a lot of positive come from a negative. Look around, I'll bet some of you have too. In the end I think it doesn't matter how much support you have as I have support and have sought out support...we are still in this alone...it is our cancer and our battle no one can do it for us but we as women are strong. Believe it.
I would recomend to anyone who is recently diagnosed or not, to get the book Dr Susan Love's Breast Book. It has been an invaluable source of information to me. It sometimes takes courage to read but the knowledge breeds courage and disposes of the fear. There are times when you just have to take all the pamphlets and books and info you gathered and just put it aside for a few days because it can be overwhelming. When ready pick it back up and seek out what you need to know. I also have found that guided imagery tapes and relaxation tapes help. I play them at night when I go to bed to help me drift off into dreamland.
This may seem like a silly question...but when am I supposed to feel like I'm a survivor? After chemo? Now, that the surgery was supposedly a success and the tumor had clear margins? It just feels too soon to be a survivor. Also has anyone had any sort of reconstruction and are you happy with it, any complications and would you do it again? When I am off chemo and my blood counts are up I know I want reconstruction. I'm just not sure what I would want to do. I presently am leaning toward saline implants as I am afraid that the Flap surgeries would not be the best choice for me. I will speak with my plastic surgeon but I would like to find other women who have done something in the line of reconstruction. I have one friend who had a double mastectomy with expanders and saline implants. She is happy after 10 years with them. But she is one person and I know there are risks involved with all.
Just hoping for some input and I'm sorry this is so long.
Way to go Kerri, I thought about doing that walk myself. But wanting the reconstruction and dealing with my GYN problems, this won't be the year. Perhaps it will come back to MI. I'm sure we could meet sometime...just not sure when right now.
Love and Prayers to all,
Sandra
Macomb, MI
==============================================================================
Another SANDY’S STORY:
Hi, My name is Sandy. I was diagnosed in 1996 with breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy, followed by radiation, which burned me badly, put on Tamoxifen. The diagnosis of cancer is bad enough, but when you have a husband who gives no support it is much worse. After the surgery I came home to my parents home to recuperate and come to grips with my disease. I then went home for the radiation to begin. I had a really bad time with the radiation, as I got burned so badly that I had to stop treatments 3 times for a week each. I was started on Tamoxifen therapy. I moved back to my hometown and changed Oncologists. I found one that I was told didn't have a lot of bedside manner but was pretty good. I was told that he didn't give up on his patients. I continued to see him and just after my 5 years on Tamoxifen was up my blood work came back elevated meaning that the cancer was back. I went through cat scans, MRI's, biopsies, and it was discovered that I had liver cancer. I was started on chemotherapy, and the first session, I had a reaction, a BAD reaction. I think that I was beginning to have a heart attack. The nurses were very good and right on the spot. They called the doctor in and he told them to wait for a half an hour and try it again. They did and it did it again. I was then started on different chemo. I lost my hair, was tired all of the time, couldn't eat much, had mouth sores, and after 10 treatments I had an MRI and it showed that the tumor had GROWN. I was told that since the chemo didn't work, he would try another chemo but had no hopes that it would work. He gave me 2 to 8 months to live. I was devastated. I was raising 2 grandchildren. One 7 and one 3. I just couldn't leave them. My mother was with me every step of the way. She was devastated too. My daughter had visited her gynecologist at about the same time that I was diagnosed and he had told her about this wonderful doctor. A gentleman in our church had also gone to this doctor after he had been given 4 months to live 4 years ago. Mom called Dr. Cole's office that day which was Thursday. We got an appointment on the next Tuesday. My oldest brother went with us because Mom didn't think that she could drive that far if we got the same prognosis as the first. The three of us went there with heavy hearts and solemn, heavy hearts. Dr. Cole walked into the exam room, introduced herself, gave me a hug, and asked me about my family, my life, talked to my brother and mother, asked about their lives. She asked Mike how he thought that I was doing, and he said that he thought that I had a good attitude and was doing pretty good. She asked Mom the same thing and she said pretty much the same thing. She asked me how I thought that I was doing and I told her that I sure as Heck didn't feel like I was going to die. She said "OK then I am going to help you. She put me on FEMARA since I had done well on the Tamoxifen. She also told me that the tumor on the liver had been there every since I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. We have an interim minister at our church. He was visiting my parents and they got on the subject of me. My poor dad was not doing very well through all of this. I am 52 years old, but I guess that I am still his little girl. Pastor Larry told them that he believed in healing prayer and would like to do a healing prayer for me, did they think that I would be interested. Mom said that she thought that I just might and Dad said "SHE WILL!!!" He came to my office and had prayer with me on 4 occasions, gave me a copy of the prayer too. I said that prayer every night. I was on the Femara for 6 weeks and went to have an MRI. I just knew that I had been healed. I went in for the MRI, without the dye and went through the whole thing when the technician came in and told me that they wanted to use the dye. I told her that the doctor said no. She said that the radiologist needed the dye to see better. She asked me if I knew what I was having the MRI for. I told her to check for the tumor on my liver. I told her what the other oncologist had told me, about having 2 to 8 months to live. Her mouth just fell open. I knew at that moment that it was gone!!! I told Mom on the way out that I knew it was gone. She seemed hopeful but......... 2 days later my doctor called me at work (which was nothing new for her. She always calls her patients with results of tests and blood tests herself!!!!! Some kind of doctor isn't she?) She told me that she had some good news for me. She read the report to me. It said that the previously seen lesions were not visible. They were gone!! Dr. Cole said that she would have been happy with the same or slightly smaller but this was wonderful. I feel like I have been healed, she seems to think that I am in remission, she is a religious woman too, but medical too. I thank GOD that I am still here. I should have been dead August 6. But GOD was there with me, he healed me. I am so thankful for all of the prayers, for my Dr. Cole, and for my Lord and Savior. There is hope, the love of GOD who leads to these wonderful doctors. I just feel so blessed. Sandy
May 6, 2008
VMARN’S STORY : The Journey Continues
I am a 14+ yrs Breast Cancer Survivor. My journey started in October 1993. I was taking a shower and felt a small mass in my right breast. I had had a mammogram several weeks before this particular day. I finished the shower and did not mention it to my husband. I went to work(I'm a registered nurse working as a cardiac Cath Lab Nurse Specialist) and told my nurse friends what I felt. They suggested that I approach one of our Cardiologists to assess the lump. i didn't do that until several days later. The lump was in my right upper breast tissue. It was so high on my chest that I didn't need to remove my bra for him to palpate it. He felt that it was just a benign cyst because of its location and the fact that it wasn't painful. I also have fibrocystic disease in both breasts and those do hurt especially during menstruation. He suggested I have an ultrasound. I did and the results were inconclusive, but the radiologist thought it was nothing to be concerned about. I wasn't about to stop there. I know from experience that patients have to be persistent and proactive when it comes to their healthcare. I went back to my Cardiologist ,whose wife by the way was an Oncologist on our staff, He called his wife on the phone told her what was happening and asked her if I could come down and see her that day. I knew her because I was instrumental in her training when she came to our facility as an Intern. I went down to see her and she examined me and immediately sent me down to the Surgical Clinic to be evaluated by a Surgical Oncologist. He said I don't think it's cancer, but lets do a needle biopsy to be sure. He called pathology and they sent a Pathologist to the Surgical Clinic to do the test. He palpated the lump and felt that it was nothing but he would do the biopsy to confirm his view. He came back in about an hour with egg on his face when they came in to give me the diagnosis of Breast Cancer. They left the room amd were gone for about two hours.
During that time, I prayed to the Lord (we have a close relationship) and asked Him to help me get through whatever I was going be going through. I called my husband and continued to pray. My husband came and the Surgeons had decided that I would not need a Mastectomy. They planned for Lumpectomy. I went back to see the Oncologist and together we decided to go ahead with the Lumpectomy which I had on November 1, 1993. She decided that I would need six weeks of radiation therapy followed by five years of Tamoxifen.
The surgery was a piece of cake. The hardest most painful thing was the casting and marking for the radiation therapy. It required hours of lying with my arm behind my head in an awful position so that they could be right on target with the radiation. Very painful and tiring.
My husband was wonderful and so supportive. My sister, who lives in Louisiana came for the surgery and stayed with me and took care of me until the radiation treatments were over. I had and continue to have a wonderful support system.
Ater five years of Tamoxifen, my oncologist asked me to participate in a Clinical Trial for Letrozole. It was to be a five year study, but it ended early because the outcomes were so positive. I found out that I was actually getting the study drug for those three years. That provided added protection against recurrence.
My cancer was estrogen receptor positive. No Lymph nodes were involved. I have to steer clear of estrogen at all cost. Tamoxifen and Letrozole are anti-estrogen, consequently, I permant thinning of my hair, I have heart palpitations that sometimes last for hours and many other problems that can be attributed to lack of estrogen.
My journey continues. God is my refuge and my strength, my ever present help as I continue on this journey.
I am a witness role model for an organization called The Witness Project. The Witness Project® is a culturally competent community-based cancer education program through which cancer survivors and lay health advisors increase awareness, knowledge, screening, and early detection behaviors in the rural and lower income African American population in an effort to reduce the mortality and morbidity from cancer.
Working with this organization has been a blessing. Being able to tell my story and to encourage women to do their self breast exams and to get their mammograms and clinical breast exams has been a real privilege. Women need to know that knowledge is power and that early detection saves lives.
I'm happy to share my story with Survivors everywhere.
9:33 PM
Like·Comment (1)
Post a comment...
There's A Hero In me
14 YEARS YES YOU ARE A WITNESS WHAT A BLESSING KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND THANKS FOR BEING A BLESSING IN SO MANY LIVES
4 years ago
Mar 12, 2008
Lisa’s Story
Hello Judy. As of April 1st, I will be a 3 yr B.C. survivor. I still feel weird saying survivor. Like I don’t belong to that group or something. Still a little denial probably. I haven’t had reco yet cause I gained weight from the chemo and not smoking. I quit the day I walked into the hospital for the mastectomy. I was on adrimicyn (sp), then cytoxin (sp) and then herceptin for 1 year. I had my last herceptin this week, January, 2007. I had 37 days of radiation. I will get reco as soon as I drop the extra person that grew on me! Hee, hee.
Thanks for adding me so we could talk. I’ll add more to the sorted story later.
Lisa
12:05 PM
Like·Comment (1)
Post a comment...
My Flowers Smell Fruity
My arm keeps going numb and it's driving me freaking crazy!!!!!!!!1 I wonder how long this is gonna continue?!?!
Just felt like venting...
4 years ago
Judy Testard
Sorry this took me so long to see..I have numbness since chemo too.I never has gone away..Is yours gone. I hope so.Judy
3 years ago
Mar 11, 2008
Bald is Beautiful By Deadra
Hellooo ~ You know ~ I am LQQKing at so many amazing photos of the women who have gone through chemo and posted pictures of themselves BALD. I see absolute loveliness in each one, almost like a cleansing, the authentic person, no bullshit, just them ... and it makes me wonder why we value hair so much? Women would rather die than go through chemo because they are afraid to lose their hair. They sometimes more upset about losing their hair than their boobs. Hair ~ it's ONLY hair .......
We spend hours washing, drying, curling, straightening, dying, bleaching, perming, frosting, cutting, shaping, trimming, detangling, for what?
We spend TONS of money for haircuts, perms, weaves, frosts, treatments, and we buy products ~ boy do we buy products ~ shampoo, conditioner, equalizers, gels, mousse, sculpting foam, regenerators, dyes to darken, dyes to cover gray, and it seems that no matter how expensive or the latest product ~ I always get the one that takes the SHAM out but leaves the POO in. There is actually a complete isle in the grocery store just for HAIR! And beauty supplies with gadgets galore... don't get me started on this.
You can put strawberries, peaches, blueberries, yogurt, lemon freshness, and any color or smell you desire into your hair. The hairspray world is equally vast with pumps, sprays, aerosols that come in short fat purple bottles to tall skinny bright red cans. You can go and buy your favorite hair product in volume or in a small travel size so you won't leave home without it.
Many avoid the wind and rain because it may mess up "The Hairdo". We love how cute hats LQQK but won't wear them because ~ duh ~ they mess up the hair.
It's been 3 years ago that my head was shaved. For me it was about having a bit of control left ~ with the diagnosis of Stage 3 breast cancer, I knew the chemo would be taking my hair from me and so sobbing ~ I decided ~ I say when, I say how. Up in the bathroom, I started CHOPPING the crap out of my hair with scissors. I had had bilateral mastectomies and so I was unable to get my arms up above my ears. Envision it ~ it was NOT pretty. Long story short, hubby came runnning, asking "what the hell are you doing?" and so he took the scissors, held me and then handed me the trash can and took out the electric shaver and shaved my head down VERY close for me. My kids both write about it in my blog if you care to read it. Once it was off, I wiped my tears, ~ I felt totally LIBERATED!!! I actually LOVED IT!!! People would rub my head as tho I was a good luck charm and it didn't mess up my hair. I certainly didn't mind it. Guess that's how dogs and cats feel. Just give me a lil head rub and I am good to go. After the chemo made me bald, bald, smooth like a baby's butt ~ I LOVED IT too.... Truly I did ~
I share this with you tonight, what started off with me LQQKing at so many lovely women who share their pictures of themselves bald ~ I wonder, why don't we all just have a National Day to shave our heads, get real with ourselves, take all the $ we spend on haircare products and use that for research or give to those who need medical treatment? Would we not be as attractive to others without hair? When men go bald, I actually find them very sexy.... so why not us women?
I am personally struggling with this. I tend to do things, most often get hold of the scissors and cut my bangs, always way too short.... but what the heck, it's only hair and it grows back and I really just don't seem to care about hair anymore. I am so ready to go in and shave it OFF again. My hubby and family say NO!!!! Hmmmmpf ~ I have never been one to listen. Oh I hear the clippers beckoning me. If not today, tomorrow? And so for you who are bald RIGHT NOW! Please take LOTS of pictures ~ have FUN with it. Draw some faces on the back of your heads, walk in the rain and feel the water on top of your head. Swim bald, pose like Stefanie did as a mannequin. I say enjoy your bald time and moments. It does grow back ~ and then you will be having to deal with bad hair days, gray, this and that and the expense of it all once again. Bald IS Beautiful ~ just remember to put on your lipstick.... that is a MUST
Love, Deadra ~ Muuuuuuuuuah
9:11 AM
Like·Comment (3)
Post a comment...
My Flowers Smell Fruity
Hello Deadra! Your note was a great read for me! I can soooo totally relate to your situation!
I was devastated at the thought of losing my hair. My hair was my identity. Sounds vain but it was true. Now that I have my hair back I feel a lot more normal. I too cut my hair off. First I was in denial. I would shower and after adding the conditioner I would have globs of my spiral locks in my hand. There were times that I would twist my hair around my finger, as I did when I was bored, and the twist ended up wrapped around my finger and a glob would pull out. Sometimes, I would tease my family and run my fingers thru it and wads of hair would come out and I would say "Hey you guys, look at this!" They would get pissed cause I think it bugged them more than me. I was in a little denial though. That's a WHOLE other novel!! Then I finally decided to cut it to about shoulder length. That was ok for a while. Then it got too thin so I gave me a buzz with the clippers. Just to about a 2", not all the way. That woulda'ben too drastic for me. Just to have fun with the tiny bit of hair I had left I would spike it in different directions with my sons hair gel! All the girls at the Oncology office thought I was a nut job (which I try to be proudly) cause I always came in with a different 'do'. It was kinda ironic that I buzzed it cause anytime I had a bad hair day I would threaten my hair that I was gonna "buzz it all off and start fresh".
I started off as a young girl with my moms straight hair and then got a shag at 13 and it started to curl. Then, as an adult, the curls got tighter and then became an unruly mess....!! I spent tons of cash on straighteners and hours trying to straighten it (hence the threats). Once it started to grow back in and it was long enough to wrap a brush around it, I started to blow it straight. Now that its down past my bra, I can easily straighten it OR scrunch it curly!! I know...I still sound vain... but I love my hair. I love it more now than ever b-4!! Yeeaaa!
I use myself as a tool in a way at my support group with people just beginning to deal with the hair thing. I tell them my goofy story and tell them it's O.K. to feel however you want about your hair but just remember that it WILL grow back. Maybe even better than b-4!
I feel funny wearing lipstick but I did choose to wear makeup and wear a really cool Corona baseball cap my buddy the beer distributer gave me!! I was kinda bummed (just KINDA now) that my hair got too full to keep wearing it! Oh well....
Oh...and by the way...for me, losing my boobage was definitely a bigger deal than the hair loss!!
Thanks for listening to me babble and stay positive ladies and gents!!
... Show more
4 years ago
❤ In The Pink ❤
Dee, this was too funny but true. I can always count on you to make me smile. Although I didn't have to go through the chemo, my hair has turned to poop. I don't know if it is the tamoxifine or just the chemical imbalance I've gone through. I am so tired of spending time and money to get it to look like it use to. If there is EVER a day set aside to shave our heads for the cause sign me up. Maybe my hair needs a new beginning. Hugs & Courage Edan, WV
4 years ago
Judy Testard
I think the tamoxifin has something to do with it..Seems I had hair and weight and tiredness though the whole time I was on it...Within months after I went off of it, I felt better...
Just my thoughts ..Hugs..Judy
4 years ago
Holley Blankenship
my hair lasted through 4 chemo treatments and the minute i realized it was starting to fall out,,i took my daughter aimee to lunch and we talked about her shaving my head ,,,she was excited and we made a big deal out if,,,after the dirty deed was done aimee and i went back to same restuarant and had dessert,, it was a mother monent that i will never forget
4 years ago
Mar 10, 2008
Holley’s Story
My name is Holley and I'm a 41 year old breast cancer survivor and thanks to Judy I survived gracefully, I've done chemo, been bald and smothered by my family but I'll tell you good has come from this. Cancer has brought my family closer and we stay in touch all the time now. It has also forced my 2 youngest to grow up faster than they should, but thats cool because they have a new respect for life and me. My newest friend in this war with cancer is Diane Forbes, she has bladder cancer and she has to be the funniest woman I've ever met.
3:26 AM
Like·Comment (2)
Post a comment...
Holley Blankenship
this is some of the craziness that went on inside of me of me during chemo,,i thought i would put into words so people can understand alittle better
the shit list is endless
this is going to sound crazy,,,but i felt better when i was sick,,the things doctors have to do to you to get better make you feel like shit and worse,,do you know what chemo is,,,its a controled kill,,the doctors inject chemicals that can kill you,,but they control the rate of death your body sustains,,when they come at you with needles wrapped in lead its scarey,,when they leave the room so they can see your insides glow in the dark on a screen,,or they hook you up to chemicals that literally kill not only the cancer cells but they kill your normal cells,,chemo eat the lining of your mouth,,causes yeast to grow in your body,,and makes your bones feel like there is boiling water running through them,,and my favorite is the feeling of being drunk without the benefit of alcohol,,you stagger and stumble and puke,,you forget everyday things like the last time you ate or the last time you went to the bathroom,,i've woken in the middle of the night paniced because i couldnt remember where i was,,the shakes really suck when you are trying to eat,,and the headaches are miserable,,everything makes it hurt,,the light ,,noise,,standing up ,,the shit list is endless,,thats all the shit that goes on inside you body,,the physical changes that other people see are just as bad,,your hair falls out and i mean all of your hair,,nothing stays,,your skin cracks and bleeds you lose your fingernails and toe nails,,yor scalp peels and you get so dried out your socks stick to your feet,,you feel like you have fish scales,,you get bags and black circles under your eyes,,not to mention the mood swings,,your friends stop talkin to you because they are scared of your cancer,,there are days when you cant even get out of bed or lift your head because the motion makes you sick,,and all thats just from chemo,,the meds they give to help with all that shit makes you sick,,the meds for pukin make you so tired you cant think,,the meds for pain send you to a happy place,,and before treatment the only thing i felt was tired,,i didnt feel sick ,,or throw up are have pain,,so was all this worth it,,do i still have cancer as of right now no,,,do i feel better no,,
everything about my life has changed and somewhere along the way i lost the person i used to be,,she is out there somewhere so if you come across the old me hand cuff me to something and will come and get the old me because i do not like the person i am now,,
... Show more
4 years ago
Holley Blankenship
my kids
my kids i have three,,2 daughters and a son
my nikole is the oldest she is 23 and expecting her baby,,we are excited.,,growing up she was the perfect kid,,good in school,,, played basketball,,,koley has the greatest sense of humor,,she can take a scarey situation and have you laughing in no time,,did i mention that she's beautiful,,funny,,smart,,compassionate,,,i could go on forever,,,i know at some point she'll be reading this,,so koley i want you to know that i love you and i'm proud of for all that you do and will do,,,thank you for all the support and understanding you give me since my cancer
aimee,,thats a hard one to describe,,she has so many sides to her that i dont know where to start,,,aimee is seventeen and getting ready to graduate and go to europe as a student embassador,, i'd say she is the most like me,,stubborn,,oppinionated,,hot headed and at the same time she can be sweet and loving and passionate about so many things,,she wants what she wants and that she gets from me,,,you know the saying irish and red headed makes for a temper,,you have no idea,,,LOL,,i hope you never change you are funny and loving and caring,,thank you for all the nights you stayed up with me while i was sick,,and for all the time you spent taking care of me after surgrey,,, i love baby
my son patrick,,,my protector,,,my keeper,,,,all the things a man of the house is or does,,,he has the biggest heart of any body i know,,,he is compassionate and caring and boy does he worry about everything,,,he makes sure i'm safe and sound when i go to bed,,,since my cancer he has put his own life on hold to stay home and take care of me,,,holding my hand,,,drying my tears and making sure i do what i have to do to get through the day,,,when his buddies where at the lake swimming he was at home taking care of me,,patrick i love you for everything you have done for me since i got sick and i love you for the man you've become,,and for the man you will be
===========================================================
Kathi’s Story
I am ALMOST a 5 year survivor of breast cancer. I count from the date of diagnosis, which was March 24, 2003. I was Stage IIB. I had 2 lumpectomies, 8 rounds of chemo, and bilateral mastectomies without reconstruction. I took tamoxifen for 4 years and started exemestane (Aromasin) in November 2007. I am an active volunteer and advocate in breast cancer organizations, including the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network, Wisconsin and National Breast Cancer Coalitions, Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization, the Breast Cancer Recovery Foundation, the Breast Cancer Family Foundation, and Susan G. Komen for the Cure.
3:25 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Mar 10, 2008
Niecy’s Story
HI MY NAME IS NIECY, I AM A 8 YEAR CANCER SURVIVOR. WHEN I WAS 42 I FOUND A LUMP IN MY RIGHT BREAST,THEY TOLD ME IT WAS NOT CANCER BECAUSE CANCER DONT HURT,SO I TOLD THEM TO UP MY MAMOGRAM AND THEY DID,AFTER THAT ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE I GOT HOME THE DR CALL ME AND TOLD ME TO COME BACK IN.THEN SHE SHOW ME THE XRAY AND SAID SHE THINK I HAVE CANCER,I WAS COOL ABOUT IT BECAUSE I HAD GOD BY MY SIDE AND MY FAMILY,WAS THERE FOR ME.IT WAS A HARD BATTLE BUT EVERYTHING WENT WELL. IF I WOULD OF NOT FOUND THAT LUMP,I WOULD NOT BE HERE TO TELL YOU MY STORY,NOW IM 49,I JUST WANT TO SAYGET YOUR EXAM EVERY YEAR. DONT PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW DO IT RIGHT AWAY. SO STAY STRONG,AND HAVE FAITH.THANK FOR READING MY STORY,
3:24 AM
Like·Comment (1)
Post a comment...
Linda J
Shoot, I found the lump because of the pain I had that day. Good for your assertiveness!
3 years ago
Mar 2, 2008
Marcia’s Breast Cancer Story
About 2.5 years ago I awoke with a terrible itching on my right nipple. I thought I had been bitten by a mosquito - it was fierce and lasted for about an hour. I looked in the mirror in the a.m. and discovered a small "nipple" right next to my normal nipple. Doc told me it was probably just a cyst - had a mammogram and it showed NOTHING. Doc told me to watch it - I did - next year same thing - mammogram showed nothing again. Told the doc I was worried about it - gave me a fine needle aspiration - nothing - still worried I insisted on an ultrasound - techy told me right there as she was running over the site - just a cyst - not to worry. Last summer that "cyst" changed size and began to bother me. Doc did a broad needle biopsy and it just showed an "atypical" cell. No cancer and it was 0 stage
Again, I insisted on a regular biopsy - that showed cancer. Stage 1 - very small, but my doc was not happy with the margin he cut and suggested I have a cancer surgeon take another look. He removed more cancer and the nipple with a lumpectomy - stage 2.5 this time. He also found 2 lymph nodes with cancer.
This all should have been taken care of with the very first mammo that showed nothing. I should have insisted on a biopsy that first year it was discovered, but I had faith in my doctor, who I have been with for over 11 years. He has always taken great care of me and I never had a doubt about his decisions. Just wish now I would have listened to my intuition sooner than I did, especially because my Mom had breast cancer. I am into my 6th treatment of chemo - next radiation and then on to a normal life - I hope.(Celebrating my 70th bd this spring, and our 50th wedding anniversary). Doc says everything looks great - recent CT scan was perfect - no tumors anywhere.
In conclusion, I would say that all women have to listen to their inner-self, and when things just don't seem right - get another opinion!!!
Best regards to all who are fighting this battle - Keep your faith in God and stay busy to keep your mind off your struggle. Get lots of rest, but also try to walk as often as you feel up to it, as that is what makes me feel good. Another tip - when nausea gets to you - try Gatorade - it really works to take away that mild, awful feeling in your gut.
Hugs to all -
Marcia Bein
Osage Beach, Missouri
11:06 AM
Like·Comment (2)
Post a comment...
christin;nic team
first congradulation on your 50 anniv,and happy bday,iam so glad you are doing gd,i was reading your blog iam a 1 year survivor just finished herceptin,had my mamogram said i have a small tumor but not cancerous but my question is the itching i also have on my breast,i had a ultra sound to i guess you just always wounder ,you take care lots of hugs and prayers christina
4 years ago
Judy Testard
I can't get over how women are still
being told that is not cancer when it is..grrrrrrrr
You are right Marcia, we have to take responsibility for our own health.
Connie. my niece, did just that after I had a similar expierence to yours so Connie right
away requested or should I say demanede Lol!! a ultra sound because of me and
she did have cancer..Luckily because she did that her breast was saved.
She caught it early and is doing good now.
Thanks so much for adding your story, We need to get the word out. Hugs! Judy
... Show more
4 years ago
Feb 29, 2008
Raewyns Poem
"ALL I WANTED WAS A CUPPA TEA"
And You Only Wanted A Cup Of Tea! Imagine you are me, just for a day, the scenario being this. You have battled this crazy disease, Breast Cancer, not just physically, but emotionally too, since October 1996. Here you are five and a half years later heading toward the end of the journey. Not only are you battling for yourself but for everyone else too. You're told not everyone is like you and you're having difficulty being understood. You try to clarify your feelings and accommodate theirs too. You are used to living alone. Used to peace and quiet with few interruptions. Free to sleep and eat when it suits you. Used to a tidy house ... well, your mess only. Your loving family have come to be with you and to help you. You look forward to seeing them but knowing the reason for their visit is daunting. It's likely to be the last time you will ever see them and you know it can't be like it was before because the circumstances are different. You're well enough to still cope with life and the latest news hasn't really sunk in yet. Their visit seems, to you, to be premature. You feel obliged to accommodate their need to see you and are aware that if it was you in their shoes, you may want do the same thing. You have explained your apprehension in the nicest possible way. You know the timing is wrong but explain the foreseen cramped space problem. They come anyway saying they understand. You've gone for an afternoon nap and some quietness. You're too tired to get out of bed. You have four extra people in the house. They're all here to 'help' you. You hear them all talking, laughing, singing and plodding along with their daily routine. It's nice to know they're enjoying each others company and just all being together but you're sad that you can't be as much of a part in it as they can. Yet, YOU are the star attraction. It's because of YOU they are all here with you. You're longing for a cup of tea; longing for a quiet chat. There are a million things going on in your head. You feel lonely. You look around the room. Your bedding is all askew. Your bedroom is untidy. You had tossed your clothes from the past few days on to a stool and a pile of washing sits in the corner in a clothesbasket. The bedside table is sticky from previous cups of tea. The ornaments are dusty as is your jewlery box. The mirror lacks the sheen it once had when you were well. Your energy level is low but seeing all these things makes it lower. The sound of chatting and laughter reminds you of what it's like to be well. You call out. Amidst all the chat and laughter your weakened voice isn't heard. You try again.. still no response. Ah, the bell that has been put there for you to use in an emergency. You give a gentle tingle. They rush in. Smiling you say, "I was only wanting a cup of tea. Just thought I'd do the bell-ring to get a reaction." They're relieved that you're okay and that it's not an emergency. But … it WAS an emergency. You wanted company; a cup of tea and your room is in a mess. You have no energy to do any of those things; besides, they're all here to 'help' you. They say "Cuppa's coming up soon. We're just organising dinner. What would you like to eat?" Food and 'you' aren't really good mates at this time and to even think of food is nauseating. They say what they're having, but you knew that already because the smell is wafting from the kitchen through to the bedroom. Another 'yuck' to add all the other 'yucks'. They offer 'anything you want' but you don't want to hinder their meal plan that's already underway. You make a suggestion. They explain they can't do 'that' particular thing today but will get it in for tomorrow. Arrrrgh.. You're thinking … I won't be likely to want it tomorrow, been there; done that; I want it NOW. You really only want the cup of tea at this point of time but they're insisting you must eat. You glance around the room trying to think of something quick, simple and something that will appeal to your palette. You notice the messy room yet again. Your facial expression probably shows you now feeling unhappy… you still only want that cup of tea. You're being 'looked at'. You want to duck under the bedcovers. They ask, "Are you feeling okay" Arrrrrrgh.. Of course you don't feel okay. Your health is no different from the last time they asked but this bloody mess and the need for a cup of tea is really getting to you. You don't tell them about the mess or they may start to tidy it up and that would delay the cuppa time even more. So, you politely answer "I'm sure I'll feel better after the cuppa". "Yep, it's coming up" they say. Phew! At last they turn to leave and your tension is easing. They ask again about food. You make a snap decision – something quick and simple. Poached eggs. They're happy. They wanted to do something for you and they believe they are. Again you're left in your room.. your untidy room. The cuppa will be here soon. You wait.. you hear the clamour in the kitchen. The sound of cupboard doors and drawers opening and shutting and the rattling of cutlery are deafening. You listen for the kettle. You can't hear it for all the other noise. The thought of the cuppa arriving soon is exciting and you look forward to the company and the chat that will come with it. The few minutes you're waiting seems more like an hour. Finally you hear footsteps. You sit up and wait. It was just someone walking past your room. You lie back down again. "Dinners ready" you hear someone call. The smell of the spicy food is sickening. You'll be pleased when they've eaten and the smell disappears. You still wait for that cuppa. The place is quieter. The chatter has stopped and the cutlery on the plates sound indicates they're eating. It seems they've forgotten the cuppa… for the moment anyway. Oh well, nature is calling so you decide to get up to empty your bladder. After all you need to make room for that elusive cuppa. Rather than returning to bed you decide to stay up for awhile. Really it's to get your own damned cuppa but for fear of making 'them' feel bad you say you just felt like getting up to stretch your legs. It's hard work but it's quite good to get away from the cluttered room. You wander in to the dining room. They all look surprised. You casually switch the kettle on. Not wanting to be selfish you ask if anyone else wants a cuppa. They're nearing the end of their meal and all accept but someone adds "Gosh, I feel bad, I was going to do that for you, as soon as I had finished my meal" You notice that the simple meal, that you didn't really want, is sitting on the bench waiting to be cooked. The kettle boils and you do the count of who wants tea and who wants coffee. They're embarrassed because they haven't catered to your needs. You're embarrassed because you feel you've shown them up. Your energy level is such that making ONE cuppa is difficult enough but making five is even more work. It's hard to get five cups from the cupboard at once so it's two trips just to get to the cups. The remembering 'who wants what' is also difficult. You ask again.. got it.. 3 teas, 2 coffees. You make the beverages and deliver them, including yours, to the table. You're exhausted. It's not a task that exhausts well people but you're not well. You would prefer to take your cup of tea back to the bedroom but that would look like you're either sicker than you've let and it would appear rude. You sit at the table with them and join the chat. Their voices seem loud; the chair is uncomfortable; the smell of the food is nauseating. Someone remembers 'your' food that's half prepared. "Just the cuppa will be fine for the moment" you say "I'll eat later." You weren't hungry anyway, your head's starting to feel fuzzy and the nausea is worsening. You drink your cuppa quickly. You know they'll understand the need for rest so you gracefully retire to the bedroom. Dishes are now being done in the kitchen and someone has turned the TV on in the Living Room. Still no one comes in. You know you only have to ask. They have told you that many times. You attempt to call out again. Another cuppa and a quiet chat would be great. No one hears and you're reluctant to ring the bell again. There's a good movie on TV and they're watching it. It's getting dark so you draw your curtains and do a crossword puzzle. Your body's tired and you're feeling low. You lie down to rest for a minute. Someone passes by your room and notices you're lying down. Thinking they're being considerate they close your door gently. The noise is less deafening and eventually you fall asleep. After a few hours you wake. The house is quiet. You're thirsty again and crave another cup of tea. You get up and make it. All your helpers are in bed. There are people asleep in your living room. You have to be quiet. You want to read emails or play a game on the computer, just to get out of this world for a short time. This is what you usually do. You can't. It would wake your guests. You tiptoe to the kitchen and quietly make a sandwich. A sandwich doesn't require much effort. With cuppa and sandwich in hand you return to your bed. A house full of people and you're feeling so very alone. You eat your sandwich, drink your cup of tea and do some more puzzles. Finally you're tired enough to fall asleep. Tomorrow is another day. It's got you to the stage whereby you feel it's easier to give in to the disease and get it all over with. But your body isn't ready for that just yet. Are you with me? Are you feeling bewildered? What's really happened here? The reality is that all of your visitors/helpers are asleep after 'looking after you' for the day. They're feeling great about their efforts and you're feeling invaded, uncared for and your health remains the same but the tension and stress has got to you. You love them dearly but you're yearning for your return to your own space. My personal advice is to grin and bear it. Let them see you, try and join in their fun and farewell them kindly when they leave. This will save hurting their feelings and although you may feel as though you're losing your sanity, the tension won't be as bad. Good Luck Raewyn Marks Hospice Patient April 2002
2:39 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
Raewyns Story from New Zealand
Raewyn' Story From New Zealand April 2002
Wednesday, 01-May-2002 Raewyn Elizabeth Marks I was born 17 July 1950 and live at Foxton Beach, North Island, New Zealand. My parents were farming most of their married life and I am one of five children. Two sisters older than me and a brother and sister younger. My Dad passed away in June 2001 and my Mum is still quite healthy and active at almost 80 years old. I have three children ~ Scott, Michelle *Mitch* and Kristy, daughter-in-law Natasha *Tash* and a gorgeous granddaughter, Cheyenne who will be 4 in July 2002. After leaving school at age 15 ~ gosh, I don't think they allow you to leave at 15 these days ~ I worked as a Pharmacy Assistant until I was old enough to go Nursing. I loved Nursing as a career however being young and foolish and thinking more about the importance of leisure time I left that career so that I could be like others and have weekends free. I ended up working as a Wages Clerk and stayed in clerical work most of my life since. I married in 1970 *aged 20* and raising three children was the greatest time of my life. With my husband we managed Hotels for most of the years the kids were growing up. We left the liquor industry in 1989 and I returned to clerical work, mainly Sole-Charge, also Sales and Supervisory positions. I did do some more nursing about 7 years ago doing the weekend shift at a Rest Home for the Elderly and worked as a Teachers Aide/Caregiver to a little Spina Bifida girl for a year while we were managing an Hotel that I wasn't required to work fulltime at. I separated from my husband in 1995 and with a business partner owned and operated a Home for people with Psychiatric disabilities. In 1996 we decided to give our marriage another try and had only been back together for two and a half months when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I had noticed a lump in my breast in 1994 and the Doctor I sought advise from assured me, without any more than a feel and a prod, that it was "merely a cyst". When I noticed a lump in my armpit I got it checked by the new Doctor I was seeing who warned me to expect it to be Cancer. He sent for an urgent Fine Needle Aspiration the same day. This is when my life changed overnight. At age 46 my Cancer journey had begun. I had to resign from the business I was in as it was a real 'hands-on' job and to be 'on-call' 24 hours a day would be impossible from hereon. So ... November 1996 ... Radical Mastectomy - 7 of 11 nodes positive December 1996 ... Adriamycin/Cyclophosphamide Chemotherapy April 1997 ... Radiotherapy for 6 weeks June 1997 ... Prescribed Tamoxifen I regained my hair, as well as my energy, and returned to the workforce in September 1997. March 1999 ... Extreme tiredness and back pain prompted me to have an X-Ray and Bone Scan The results were clear. May 1999 ... Routine blood test showed Liver activity and Ultra Sound and CT Scan proved the worst. I had a mass tumour centred in my Liver. The system in New Zealand at that time was crazy. My Oncologist knew I needed Taxotere, however the 'system' said I didn't qualify for it until Mitoxantrone/Methotrexate/Mitomycin C had been used and failed. With no time to fight the system we went ahead. The result was minimal and I was in quite a lot of pain for the duration. September 1999 ... Prescribed Megostat and after I had taken it for 10 days I was so ill and short of breath I was diagnosed with fluid on the lung by Emergency Doctors at the local Hospital. My Oncologist described it as more like 'almost heart failure'. I continued feeling unwell and in pain and was getting weaker and weaker. February 2000 ... Yahoo .. I now qualified for Taxotere! I only managed to get through 4 of the 6 treatments. I developed Neuropathy and had terrible bowel problems. An ultrasound was unreadable due to the 'mush' within my liver. I lost all of my finger and toenails as well as all of my hair including eyelashes. I really did look a sight. A sight and so sick I still managed to attend my son's wedding at the end of March, just about the same time as I decided to resign from the very well paid position I had as 'Team Leader of Records Management' at the local Council. For the wedding I threw on my wig, dressed comfortably and even managed without my wheelchair. Sheer determination but it was worth it. Recuperation was slow but my marriage was extremely rocky .. long story .. and I realised I wanted peace and quiet so I got very gutsy and brave. A month before leaving my 30 year *minus the one year break* marriage I threw a big party to celebrate my 50th Birthday in July 2000. It was wonderful - maybe more like a living funeral but I was able to walk ok and I was growing hair again. August 2000 ... Brrrrrrm .. I could drive and I had found a cute house at the beach so I was out of there! Leaving behind an unfaithful and embarrassed husband. Mitch, my eldest daughter, supported me and moved with me. She was wonderful. Packed, unpacked and cared for my every need. She even had to do my thinking for me at times but I loved my new home and my new life. Scott, Tash and Cheyenne had bought a house nearby and Kristy moved to the nearest city just 40 minutes drive away. I got stronger and stronger and decided to enjoy my new life of not working. I did quite a bit of gardening and was in the middle of creating a rock garden when I became nauseous. Nausea being the first sign of liver activity for me. Blood test proved that theory right. September 2000 ... Fortunately Navelbine had just been introduced in this country, however it wasn't on the funded list as the others had been. The cost was expensive but the results were amazing. I had very few side-effects and was able to resume a relatively normal lifestyle. I finished the course and was amazingly well. Almost to the point of looking for paid employment until ... February 2001 ... Prescribed Femara Letrozole which I tolerated well. March 2001 ... Blood tests proved Femara wasn't working for me and Xeloda was the only option left *also non-funded* and I really felt as though we were heading to a cure. Everything else had worked for me and this was going to as well. I disregarded the fact that I only had a 10% chance of it working. Initially I was on a large dosage and as a result endured hand/foot problems. So bad that I lost all the skin after burning and blistering. I stopped treatments for a few weeks and resumed on a smaller dosage, eventually taking half the original dosage with amazing results. The Ca153 tests started at 235 and ended up at 33.9 by December. The treatments were now taking their toll on me and I was getting very weak. The thought of taking another Xeloda tablet was enough to make me vomit besides the course had finished and the tumour couldn't possibly reduce further. It was wonderful to be free of chemo drugs and I had great few months of actually forgetting I had this beastly disease. Xeloda was continuing to work even when I had stopped taking it until ... February 2002 ... Ca153 Blood test showed small activity. Started on Tamoxifen. Developed severe nausea and severe mood swings. Stopped for a week to see if it was Tamoxifen or the beast. It was the beast! March 2002 ... A lengthy discussion with Richard, my wonderful Oncologist who, I have the utmost faith in, took place. His research shows that to return to Xeloda would somehow have the cancer cells run amok and go somewhere else and find a place to survive. He described it to be similar to the way antibiotics work whereby the cancer cells end up resisting the drugs, like becoming immune to them. There are no other treatments that would be likely to have any chance of working. We spoke of survival times and the options. By leaving the tumour alone we believe it won't flare up and spread as fast as it would if we were to bombard it again with Xeloda or any other drug. The chances of taking Xeloda or any other drug would cause more deterioration to my general health and I wouldn't have quality of life even if it could possibly extend my life. We believe that extension, if any, would only be a matter of days or weeks, if any. I opted for the quality, and probably the same amount of time. It's so difficult to explain so I do hope I have made this clear. I haven't stopped any treatments nor have I given up. I have just chosen quality time. I am now under Hospice who have taken over my care. The Hospice Doctor is Janet, Richard's wife who is as lovely as he is. I have only met with the Hospice Team twice so far. I have chosen to be an out-patient and will only be admitted to Hospice if I require medication to be sorted out or if I become too unwell to be cared for at home. This is unlikely to happen. I have my nausea and pain under control and so far am still able to get around as well as I have done for the past 12 months. I have the odd bad day whereby I feel a bit 'wobbly' however this may just be from the increased *or maybe the need to increase more* medication. I can feel my tumour growing but take care not to push or prod for fear of aggravating it even further. I am hopeful of a few more good months of life and although I seem to be able talk about it, it really hasn't hit home with me I don't think. Somehow I still hope for some miracle cure to spring up overnight. Recently Iressa has come on to the market however it's not an option for me either. :* My Cancer Journey hasn't ended yet .. I'm always looking for 'something new' and so is Richard. Meanwhile, I continue to live alone here at my cottage by the sea. I have most of my evening meals with Scott, Tash and Cheyenne. I have home help for 3 hours a week and between all of the kids and Tash I am well cared for. I am really Ms Independent so I do everything I possibly can and resist asking for help unless I really need it. My kids know me and read me well. They're wonderful. I cherish each moment I have with my family and I have many enjoyable moments with Cheyenne. I'm her best friend and she's delighted that this 'kid' can drive her places. I am too. I must say that throughout this journey I have managed to really sort out my life and have done so many things I have always wanted to. Left my marriage and moved to live by the sea and just done some fun things - painting, crafts, poetry, lots of writing, spent many fun hours online, laughed a lot, talked a lot, made time to tell the people I love that I love them and appreciate this world of beauty that I had barely noticed before. Amongst the sad times during treatments there's always some laughter. My daughters will no doubt remember the funniest Chemo treatment whereby I was warned I would pee red afterwards. I sang ..* and hey, I don't usually sing* a silly song about peeing red while I was using the hospital toilet. They didn't stop me, just laughed along with me. During treatments I always visualised the treatments gnawing away at the beast. To me I couldn't feel pain .. just the gnawing sensation. I referred to this as 'the liver-grinder'. I tried to laugh away my pain and anger and always tried to see the up side of this crappy disease. I'm going to be really honest now .. I really wonder how long I have left on this earth. With all the medication I take to make me feel okay, I know its camouflaging the symptoms. Without the meds I am on I would be dead. So, I have to enjoy each minute I'm here. I hope to be here to celebrate my 52nd birthday in July 2002. I still lots to do .. writing memoirs etc .. sounds silly but in a way I think I'm trying to leave bits of me all over the place. Is that unusual? For some people it would seem crazy but I think I have always grown up thinking I was a 'nobody' but since being sick I have heard how I have made a difference to people's lives. It's meant a lot to me and for that I'm thankful to have had the time to hear things like this. Had I died a sudden death I would never have known these things. The encouragement, love, support and friendship I have got from this online friends during the last two years has been just tremendous. The support from one forum I belong was so wonderful early in 2001 when members on the forum helped two of us, Reigan Allan and myself, from this country lobby our Government regarding the Funding Criteria. We won and the system was changed in New Zealand. Richard, my Oncologist was overwhelmed at their actions and delighted with the result, as were the general public. With love and hope always, Raewyn from New Zealand
Update from Raewyn May 22nd, 2002
Hi Everyone I thought it was about time I updated you all with another group email. It must be rather awkward for those of you that don't see me or don't hear from me much to know 'what' to write or 'if' to write and as a result I often have an empty In-Box. There was a lot of panic when I said I was now under Hospice but I now see what Richard meant when he said there can still be a reasonable time and quality of life to enjoy. Not much has actually changed, that I'm aware of, since my last update. I have increased and adjusted there haven't been any dramatic changes .. and I don't go looking for them. When I hear about new drugs and treatments I flick an email to Richard but to date there's still nothing else that will make my life any longer or better than it is at the moment. Everything's worth checking out though. I'm lacking energy at the moment but I'm putting this down to being on antibiotics and staying up too late .. all night, in fact, when just the other night I paused in the middle of writing an email and did a painting. I'm certainly no artist and I had it completed in a few hours and funnily enough I like it. I've had the canvas and paints here for about a year so it was about time I finally found the urge to do it. I have done lots of writing .. stories and poems.
I did it for one of the Cancer sites I'm a member of. I wrote the story and sent Judy a few photos. She put it all together for me .. music and all. Thanks for doing that for me Judy. Most of the things I'm doing sit here half finished so it's bugging me. I have to be in the right mood and have the strength in my arms to write. Not the sort of thing you can just sit down and 'do' .. well, not for me anyway. My letterbox corroded so Scott made me a wooden one which I had fun painting and putting a decorative '18' made out of crushed shells on it. The postie will be as delighted as I am. No more soggy mail for me and it saves him from having to weigh the mail down with a stone. Thanks again to all of my Angels that continue to send me snail mail .. it's the highlight of my day. I have also made a few more 'pebble-people' crafts including a cute pen .. with Kristy's help. I may make some more .. one day. I'm still living alone and it's ideal. It keeps me motivated and as long as I have a telephone .. and the computer .. I never feel alone. I see Scott, Tash and Cheyenne daily and spend many hours on the phone chatting with Mitch and Kristy. I love the phone calls and think we chat more because we have no interruptions. I'm not on Instant Messenger much these days. Just too fast and strenuous for me these days. I find emails are much easier. It's drizzling here today but it's not cold. We have had one frost but I must admit I didn't see it. It seems to be a worldwide thing that our seasons are all out of kilter. We don't seem to have seasons anymore. Plants are as confused as I am. Family are all well at the moment. Here's a funny little story that happened the other day. Cheyenne went to the dental clinic for a filling. She thought nothing of getting a small injection and is even happy to return in a few months for a check-up. Tash on the other hand was the one biting her nails for the duration. No Kindy that afternoon as Tash thought that maybe when the injection wore off she would be one unhappy little girl. Turned out she would have been better to have gone because she rewarded Tash by writing on her bedroom windowsill and her bedding with Black Vivid marker pen. Her punishment was to have all of her pens, pencils, crayons etc taken off her. Well .. we expected a performance because she knew Scott was going to do this ... she had been warned. Earlier she confessed to me what she had done and also told me that it was okay that Dad would be taking all the pens away because she had hidden her Pooh Bear pen .. and told me where she had hidden it. Scott arrived home, heard the news and said "Right, that's it .. I'm going to take the pens off you" "Okay" she said "but you won't be able to find my Pooh Bear pen cos I have hidden it" "Mmm" said Scott "and would you like to tell me where the hiding place is?" "She hesitated and then said "Yep, ok .. no, you guess" "In your little blue plastic drawer?" "Yep, it is" "Okay .. let's go and get them all" "Okay she said "I'll help you" and she did. Well, we were almost wetting ourselves as she directed Scott to all the stashes of pens in her bedroom. About a dozen of Scott's work pens, many others (I had wondered where a lot of mine had disappeared to), pencils, crayons and they also found lost items such as tweezers etc. Little toad - just accepted the punishment and said "but you won't remove the toys from my room will you Dad" She watched Scott put them up high and from there she continued as though she'd done nothing wrong. They remain on a very high shelf and she's not even asking for them. Kids! She has a new kitten so is sporting a few kitty scratches that don't seem to bother her. She's a real snugly kid with me lately and I don't mind one bit. That's about it for me today so have fun and keep smiling Love to you all Raewyn
Yet another update..Aug 2002
Hi everyone Well .. I thought I was maybe wishing a bit too high when a few months ago I hoped I would be here to celebrate yet another birthday but I've done it! Yes, I celebrated my 52nd birthday on July 17. And .. I certainly celebrated in 'style' - not everyone's style but it was fun. I had 3 of my workmates from my last job here again as well as 2 school friends and two of my kids. I remembered the plan to have a Pyjama theme and my workmates remembered too. The few days leading up to it had me quite worried as I was feeling quite 'spacey' .. like I was having earthquakes in my head. But, it was a medication glitch.. needless to say I have sorted all that out now. I'm still under Hospice care and still living at home - my son, Scott, is living here now and caring for my daily needs. I enjoy his company and we have Cheyenne up here a lot which is fun .. keeps me busy, that's for sure. She goes to morning Kindy now and comes home with a new song or a new activity each day .. quite exciting. Scott recently bought another house .. a cute A Frame at Himatangi, the next beach north of here. Cheyenne was intrigued and wanted to know how he got it in the trolley. After all .. most purchases are put in trolleys, aren't they? We were considering leaving here and moving in to his house however space there is limited and there's stairs that I wouldn't be able to manage so he'll use it for extra bedrooms or a retreat for when we feel like escaping from here sometimes. I've been keeping myself busy doing some paintings. It's something I've always to try my hand at and I've surprised myself. Maybe it was beginners luck but the two I've completed have been admired by most people that have seen them. Hospice had an Exhibition in a city Bookstore window so they were on display for 2 weeks.If you're interested in seeing the ones I've finished .. here they are http://freepages.arts.rootsweb.com/~drakefam/raewyn.htm I'm keen to do lots more and am trying oils now. It's such a lot of fun. So much so that I've decided to spend less time on the computer and more with a brush in my hand. I'm finding the Computer time to be too consuming and can't sit here too long without getting an aching back, cramp in my fingers & hands and my concentration span isn't that great. I'm certainly not saying don't email me - I love hearing from you .. I'm saying please don't expect to hear from me as often. Scott will handle my mail for me on the days I don't feel up to it and I will write but not as regularly. A few of you have asked that if I become 'more unwell', could you be contacted .. Yes, I have arranged this - but, knowing me it'll be me writing. Many, many thanks to those of you that send me email and snail mail. I treasure all the things you send and hopefully I have kept up with the 'thankyou' notes. My bedroom looks cute with all the toys in a basket plus all the other things .. too many to mention .. I love them all and "thanks" for being so thoughtful. I recently spent 5 days with my Mum. She's ready for her move to her new Unit in a Retirement Village. I saw it while staying with her and it's just wonderful. The sorting and packing, plus the emotional and legal dealings that go with buying and selling have been enormous but I'm pleased to say she's done it all well, despite her age. She'll be pleased when Friday comes but I think there's enough to keep her busy for the next few months. While at Mum's it was great to catch up with my oldest daughter, my brother and sister-in-law, 2 of my sisters and many relations. I'm tired from all the travelling but it was worth the effort. I came home with more paints, brushes and canvasses .. yes, Mum used to paint before she took up pottery as a craft .. so I've been back to it again - can't stop. Crazy woman! Me I mean. My health doesn't appear to have changed much, however I have it well under control with medication, so I wouldn't really know what the 'me-without-medication' is like. I continue to get Richard to check out any new treatments .. yep, still holding out for another treatment or better still, a cure. I still manage to put the illness aside and get on with life. It's easier this way. I look after myself and only do what I can. My days of being a martyr have gone. Hoping you're all having a great day wherever you are. Love as always ... 'til next time Raewyn
SEPTEMBER 27TH..2002
Hi Judy I know I'm getting weaker because I'm spending a lot more time in bed. I sleep when I feel like it and find my back hurts less when I'm in bed. I also utilise my time in bed by doing a lot of writing .. trying to finish off all sorts of stories, poems etc that I have started. I'm satisfied if I accomplish one thing a day .. don't like to set my goals too high or I start to panic. Yes, for sure, my son Scott will be happy to answer any emails for me when I decide I cant be bothered or am too sick. I'm trying like crazy to hang on until Christmas .. and then my baby daughter will be turning 21 in January and I would LOVE to be around for that. I know I'm greedy but it's things like that that keep me going. It's worked for the last few years so ... heres hoping! I have an appointment with my Hospice Doctor on Monday .. I think .. and I'm sure she'll be quite happy with the way I'm handling all this. I try and keep myself busy and use distractions when I get really down and out. I haven't done any painting for a couple of weeks but will do as soon as I have the strength. I have 2 on the go I would love to finish. I'll keep in touch the best I can. Hoping everything is going okay for you now.
Love from Raewyn
It is with tears in my eyes..I forward this email to you from our dear member Raewyn...I never have known one so brave...She never faultered ...She wrote and painted till the end..She was an artist ...I have one of her paintings on my dresser..I cannot express myself..tonight...Raewyn was not afraid...and she died in peace..and she was giving till the end..even to take the time to write to us...
If you all remember...she wrote on New Years Day...She wrote.."I made it...to 2003."....
Now I received this on Jan. 6th. 2003..
Hi everyone. It's Raewyn's daughter Kristy here. Sorry to let you know this but Mum passed away very peacefully this morning. She wrote the following e-mail for everyone and asked us to send it on. Her funeral will be at 2pm on Thursday at the Foxton Cemetery.
Kristy xox
Well folks this will be the last time you'll get an e-mail from me. I am writing this before my time and will be leaving instructions for the kids to add a few words and click the 'send' button at the appropriate time. Words fail me so I find it easier to say this in poem form. Here goes ...
Whether you're friends or relations It's been great knowing you Especially the past few months You've helped me get through
Death isn't scary Well .. I'm not there as I write So changing my mind Is something I might
Don't worry about me Just take care everyone Make the most of each day And have lots of fun
If I possibly can I'll give you a sign To tell you I 'see' you So .. that kick may be mine
My hope is we'll meet Up again somewhere else It's all a big mystery We may even share the same house
But for now I will love you And leave you in peace The emails and phone calls I'm afraid they will cease
Goodbye my dear people I hate saying that though So I'll say adios To my dear amigos
With love from Raewyn
Can you stand another? I couldn't decide which one ..
Don't think of me as gone away My journey's just begun Life holds so many precious gifts The earth was only one.
Just think of me as resting From the sorrows and the fears In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days, no months, no years.
Think of me as living In the hearts of those I touched For when you touch the hearts of those you love That part is never lost
I closed my eyes and went to sleep And there I'll stay forever Death is everlasting sleep And I'll never wake up .. never
Love from Raewyn xxx
To my wonderful, adorable kids. Thanks for your unconditional love and support. I have hated putting you through all this. Please know how much I have appreciated everything you have done and all the thought and endless care you have given me.
To my Family. Thanks for your love and unconditional support.
To Dr Richard Isaacs .. well, what can I say. I thank you sincerely for the care and attention you have shown me during the last few years. We were a great team 'mate'. Such a shame we never got it completely beat .. it was fun trying though and I feel sure you'll soon be close to that cure. Go for it.
To Janet and the wonderful team at Hospice. Thanks for everything. You're wonderful.
To Trisha, Dianne, Mary Corbett, Ann Sedunary, my sister-in-law Linda, Tigger, Norma, Lynette and STDC staff and my BCANS sisters and friends .. what can I say. how can I ever find the words to thank you. Your care and support has been overwhelming.
To all the Angels who have supported me with cards, gifts and emails A HUGE thankyou. Getting mail in my snail mail letterbox has been the highlight of my days. I wish I had the time and energy to thank each of you personally. Extra special thanks to Angels Judith, Colleen, Eva, Cindee, Pickles and Angel Rosa who I think has sadly left this world before me.
To ALL of you .. please know that each and everyone of you have added the quality to my life that I needed - it sure made a difference.
I LOVE YOU ALL They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Take the time to live.
Goodbye from Raewyn
My dear friend Raewyn wrote this in her last days...
"If I possibly can I'll give you a sign To tell you I 'see' you So .. that kick may be mine"
I have to share with you what happened to me tonight...She gave me that sign..and no one will ever convince me or my friend Jerry otherwise.....
When I met Raewyn...I had just renewed an old friendship with my high school sweetheart.Jerry.from 1958..We are no spring chickens..and he lived far away...and I had some concerns ..Raewyn gave me some advice that I will never forget..and it helped me thorough a hard time...I won't bore you with the details...but what she said was very profound..and I will never forget her for it.... We went on to being pen pals on the..net..and she joined my Together in Breast Cancer group...and she wrote poems and stories for my website...She sent me a painting she did.. I have printed it and have it on my dresser in my bedroom...We kept in touch until she wrote on Jan 1st 2003....that she made it to the New Year... Then today I received a letter from her daughter that I shared with you earlier...today.. The quote at the beginning of this letter....is what I want to tell you about...
As Raewyns family knows...she played literati.. Jerry and I play every night...also.. Well tonight...as I met him in the literati game room ..I told him that Raewyn had passed away...He remembered her well and remembering her writtings.. he said "What a wonderfull spirit..she is...I am so sorry" my Jerry said to me..."Would you rather not play literati tonight...?" I told Jerry that Raewyn loved literati...and would want us to play...Jerry said "Then lets play in Raewyn 's honor" I said Thank you..Maybe I will beat you for a change with her help....During the game as Jerry was doing good...he said Raewyn was helping him too...I said thats just like her ..playing no favorites...It would be like her to have us tie....
Now I don't know if any of you know this..but its hard to tie...and we had never ever tied..and Jerry and I had talked before..about how cool it would be if we ever tied...
BY NOW YOU MUST HAVE GUESSED.....WHEN I PUT UP MY LAST WORD AND THE SCORE TURNED TO A TIE....A CHILL RAN DOWN MY BODY AND TEARS CAME TO MY EYES AND AT THE SAME EXACT TIME...MY LOVE MY SOUL MATE AND I PUT UP 3 WORDS....AT THE SAME TIME...ONE AFTER ANOTHER.. WOW TIED RAEWYN.... IT WAS AWESOME MY FRIENDS....I KNOW WITH OUT A DOUBT IT WAS RAEWYN..
If I possibly can I'll give you a sign To tell you I 'see' you So .. that kick may be mine
I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND....THANKS ...FOR THE SIGN..I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS HUGS! Judy
==================================================================================
Betty’s Story 2003
Hi! My name is Betty Morris and this is my story. First and foremost little about me. I am 43 years old and the mother of 4 wonderful children. My kids are my life and they each came with their own unique personalities and no learning manuals. I learn from each of them daily. I am definitely my kids MOM! I have one girl age 16 who is my beautiful angel and my strength. I have 3 boys, 11, 6 and 4. They are all healthy, active, and loving guys.
Now here is the story I came here to tell. On September 11, 2000, I had a routine exam with my gynecologist. During the examination, he found lumps on both breasts. I was not alarmed because my youngest son was just 2 years old and I had finished nursing him a few months before. I told my doctor I¡¦d had them before after nursing my others and they were milk deposits. HaHaHa, bet you guys didn¡¦t know I was a doctor. Well it¡¦s a good thing I¡¦m not and I listened to him. I was due for a mammogram anyway so I agreed to go have it checked out. The mammogram showed I indeed had lumps in both breasts. An ultrasound discovered a lump and I was referred for a needle biopsy. Now I was beginning to panic to say the least. Guess what? They are not milk deposits. ¡§What are you saying here?¡¨ I would ask each of the techs after every test. Then in a round about way my surgeon finally told me. Well truth is, I told him, what are we talking here the Big C? Cancer? Yes me, I have cancer. Many thoughts ran through my mind. Breast cancer or any form of cancer didn¡¦t run in my family. The last few years have been very hard on me and my first thoughts were why? How? Not now¡KI will never get through this. At the age of 11, I lost my mother when she was only 45 and my father at the age of 62. Both died of heart disease, not cancer, which runs in my family. I am the youngest of 4 children how can this be? I asked myself all of the questions. Can it be a mistake? Why me the youngest of the 2 sisters? I nursed all four of my kids I thought I was protected¡KBoy was I misinformed or just nieve. At this point I was simply in denial.
Well I did come to the realization that it was true. Undoubtedly I had breast cancer. It was DCIS on the right and LCIS on the left. They had estrogen positive receptors. Whatever that means, right? I went out and researched all the information on breast cancer and the treatment. I join the Wellness group in Thousand Oaks, CA (my home town) I went to weekly meetings. I spoke to other cancer patients about their problems and asked many questions. It was at Wellness where I realized I was not alone in this fight and there were folks there to help. I also had a great team of doctors who cared. There was a great surgical team that I trusted and they were great. I had my first bilateral lumpectomy in November where six lymph nodes were removed. The good news is the cancer was confined to the breasts. The bad news is there were 3 tumors found on the right and 2 on the left side. Reports indicated they were 1.5cm and 1.0cm in size. Doctors found clear margins on the right but not the left. In December they had to go back in. In Jan of 2001, clear margins could not be found so they decide to do a mastectomy. I also decided that reconstruction would be done at the same time. A saline implant was implanted and within 3 weeks, I had a terrible infection and was back in for surgery to have in removed. I was so ill I remember hearing the doctors tell my sister outside the room he didn¡¦t think I would make it through the night. Well guess what? I fooled them once again. It took me a long time to feel better after that. I also have Lupus so it took even longer. I was finally able to have the radiation treatments, 33 of them. Then after much persistence on my part, I begin the Chemotherapy, CMF with a push. Lupron shot were also used to stop the estrogen. That took longer then it was suppose to because my white counts were sky high. The lupus in my body was working overtime to fight the infection and the drugs. However, I made it through with the grace of God and a great support group and many loving friends.
Coming from the ¡§other side¡¨ of cancer, I can honestly say that life is better. I appreciate the things that God has given me. Mainly life! I tried to embrace the cancer and hope to have grown from the experience. I try to think of the positive side and pray that my life is better than before. This was a way to get me to open my eyes to the world around me and see the positive things in my life. I look at my world differently as if to be reborn and given a second chance to change it. It is a time to slow down and to see what is important in life. Not to mention God has taught me something different.
Well it has been over a year since I finished treatments. And I¡¦m still going strong. Life is still good and I continue to praise God for the grace he shown upon me through the experience. I still take Tamoxifen and I will continue for about four more years.
My family and I have recently moved to a small town outside of Reno, Nevada where life is much simpler and things are a lot slower. I see my oncologist every 6 months now for check-ups. I miss my friends from the support group in Calif. But I welcomed this group on-line. I look forward to chatting with all of you and getting to hear your stories.
Thanks for listening and letting me share my story!
~ Betty ~
2:33 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
2:33 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
Letter from a Breast Cancer Survivor..to a new cancer patient:
ITS OK TO CRY
I am a 3 1/2 yr. SURVIVOR and I had a MRM on May 4, '99. I have yet to have reconstruction. My scar is also now white and my WONDERFUL SURGEON left me with something to WORK WITH if I decide on reconstruction. I can relate to your feeling depressed; that is NORMAL, and, as long as you are NOT depressed constantly you don't need an anti=depressant. I had 4 treatments of Adriamycin/Cytoxan and 4 treatments of Taxotere. I did extremely well with surgeries and chemo and was able to POWER-WALK daily through it all. So PHYSICALLY I did EXTREMELY WELL, but emotionally I don't know. You see, every night, through the six months of chemo and beyond until my hair started coming back in I would have a GOOD CRY. As I was getting ready for bed and took off my wig and put it on the styrofoam head, then took off my breast and put it in the box and then washed off my makeup, I would then begin to SOB; because what was staring back at me was a BEAUTIFUL BALD HEADED, ONE BREASTED, NO EYELASH OR EYEBROW LADY and I looked like "CANCER"!!! I had a GOOD "15 minute" CRY every night in the bathroom! I never told my family or my WONDERFUL ONC about doing this. Some afternoons I would think about it and say to myself-------Tonight, I am NOT going to CRY!! However, when the TIME CAME, the TEARS FLOWED FREELY. I decided that this was MY WAY of GRIEVING for my LOSSES!! I agree TOTALLY with Lori,------------TEARS ARE CLEANSING!!! I guess I GRIEVED LONGER than MOST but I am a VERY SPIRITED ACTIVE woman and I think the TEARS truly did CLEANSE ME! When my hair started coming back in I stopped grieving and MOVED ON!! I knew that I was NOT in a state of depression because every morning when I put on my wig, breast and makeup I was my ENERGETIC, FUN-LOVIN', 'ORNERY self! So, if you need a GOOD CRY, do it!! You FEEL BETTER!! You will know if you need an anti-depressant if you are FEELING SAD 24/7 then talk to your ONC. I will keep you in my THOUGHTS & PRAYERS!!
2:31 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
Letter from a Breast Cancer Survivor..to a new cancer patient:
ITS OK TO CRY
I am a 3 1/2 yr. SURVIVOR and I had a MRM on May 4, '99. I have yet to have reconstruction. My scar is also now white and my WONDERFUL SURGEON left me with something to WORK WITH if I decide on reconstruction. I can relate to your feeling depressed; that is NORMAL, and, as long as you are NOT depressed constantly you don't need an anti=depressant. I had 4 treatments of Adriamycin/Cytoxan and 4 treatments of Taxotere. I did extremely well with surgeries and chemo and was able to POWER-WALK daily through it all. So PHYSICALLY I did EXTREMELY WELL, but emotionally I don't know. You see, every night, through the six months of chemo and beyond until my hair started coming back in I would have a GOOD CRY. As I was getting ready for bed and took off my wig and put it on the styrofoam head, then took off my breast and put it in the box and then washed off my makeup, I would then begin to SOB; because what was staring back at me was a BEAUTIFUL BALD HEADED, ONE BREASTED, NO EYELASH OR EYEBROW LADY and I looked like "CANCER"!!! I had a GOOD "15 minute" CRY every night in the bathroom! I never told my family or my WONDERFUL ONC about doing this. Some afternoons I would think about it and say to myself-------Tonight, I am NOT going to CRY!! However, when the TIME CAME, the TEARS FLOWED FREELY. I decided that this was MY WAY of GRIEVING for my LOSSES!! I agree TOTALLY with Lori,------------TEARS ARE CLEANSING!!! I guess I GRIEVED LONGER than MOST but I am a VERY SPIRITED ACTIVE woman and I think the TEARS truly did CLEANSE ME! When my hair started coming back in I stopped grieving and MOVED ON!! I knew that I was NOT in a state of depression because every morning when I put on my wig, breast and makeup I was my ENERGETIC, FUN-LOVIN', 'ORNERY self! So, if you need a GOOD CRY, do it!! You FEEL BETTER!! You will know if you need an anti-depressant if you are FEELING SAD 24/7 then talk to your ONC. I will keep you in my THOUGHTS & PRAYERS!!
2:31 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
A Letter from Bambi
Dear Steve, Judy and Members, It is with great sadness and heavy heart that I write to tell you of the passing of my Mother-in-law. She departed this earthly life at 6:04 AM, Monday, September 30, 2002. She battled breast cancer bravely for a number of years but, sadly did not win her fight. This disease has now claimed my Mother, Aunt, Suzy and now Betty Jo (MIL). At this time arrangements are pending due to family having to travel from Tanzania, Africa where they are missionaries. It reminds me once again how each of us and our families and loved ones need to do all they can to help put an end breast cancer and all forms of cancer. This is why we fight on year after year in the hope that our children and their children will not have to live in fear of being struck down this horrible disease. At the moment I am sad that yet another light has been extinguished. I will let all of you know when I am leaving for Dallas. Thank you so very much for your support in a very difficult time. Love and hugs, Bambi
=============================================================
Lisa’s Story
My name is Lisa Westphal and I am 39 years old ... I was born in Mount Vernon, New York lived there till 13 days before my 11th birthday then moved to Connecticut.
Then 10 years ago, my 1st husband and my daughter and I moved to florida... I was divorced 3 years ago and met a man online on the internet, I was looking for people to talk to in Hamburg Germany because my grandfather comes from there and I met this man and we would talk for hours online and he would phone me..
He asked me to come see him and said he would pay my ticket to come so on November 13th, 1998 I came.. Well we got along very well in person and got married 8 months later... My daughter lives in florida with her father because of school and we all thought it best she stay there with her dad She comes and lives with us during the summer!!
Maybe when she is out of school she can stay here longer !! Ok were was I , oh after being here 8 months we got married and I got pregnant but had a miscarriage at 4 months pregnant, then 9 months ago found out I had a cyst on my uterus that may of caused the miscarriage, and I was also diagnosed with Breast Cancer..
My doctor caught my cancer early and it was not in my lymph nodes thank god and I should live to be 80 I hope... Lisa
Teri’s Story
In August 2000 at age 37, four months after the birth of my youngest daughter, I went to have a post-partum check up and during my exam, I asked about my left breast. There was no lump, just pain and redness which my obstetrician initially thought was an infection of the milk ducts and treated me with antibiotics. She examined me and said it was "probably nothing" but to go have a mammogram "just to make sure". She saved my life that day. After my mammogram, the radiologist showed me what he called calcifications on my x-ray and stated that they were very suspicious and he would contact my doctor to schedule a biopsy, although again, it was probably nothing. My doc called me that evening with an appointment already scheduled.
Before the biopsy was even completed, I was diagnosed with a relatively rare (1- 4%) and particularly deadly form of breast cancer, Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC), I was told then that only 40% of patients with IBC survive the first year; only 40% - 50% of that initial 40% survive the next year.
One researcher called IBC "the most lethal and fulminant of all breast cancers." He said of the disease: "Rapid growth and short doubling times are characteristic of IBC, resulting in local growth analogous to a "brush fire," extending rapidly in all directions across all surfaces and tissue planes. In addition, rapid systemic dissemination results in the death of the majority of these patients."
Shocked and bewildered, I prepared for my death by making arrangements for who would take care of my children after I was gone. After the initial preparations were made, a peace came over me that I will never be able to explain but I believe with all my heart that God spoke to me and "told" me that I would be healed. From that moment on, I fully believed this to be true and expected to live.
I had four Adriamyacin and Cytoxan treatments, a mastectomy with all lymph nodes removed, four Taxotere treatments, and 28 radiation treatments. I had no side effects greater than a little upset stomach the day of my treatments and food tasted strange for a couple of days, other than the usual hair loss. I continued to work full-time during my entire treatment and cannot thank my co-workers enough for making me laugh at myself and enjoy life.
I am fortunate enough to have some of the finest physicians in the oncology field. My doctors considered me "lucky" that there had been no spreading to any of my lymph nodes or chest wall as we had caught the disease in its extremely early stages. I know that there was no luck involved but divine intervention which saved my life.
Today, two years after my diagnosis, the doctors suspect that the chances of a recurrence are extremely minimal and I am happy and healthy and just last weekend was married to my partner of almost 6 years who is my rock and strength. I continue to have my checkups every six months and although I do have some issues with fear of recurrence, my outlook is great and I look upon this life changing experience with gratitude to God for healing me and teaching me never to take life for granted. Teri
2:27 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
HELENE’S STORY:
Hi, my name is Helene and I was dx. 12-28-97. Had a right mastectomy 1-6-98 and found out that I was already at stage IV. I went through CAF, then onto taxotere and eventually a stem cell transplant. I was in remission for a while, but now I have a reoccurrence with a lesion in my liver and back in my bones. As you all know this disease is a real pain in the butt..... but somehow we all keep trying to keep kicking cancer butt. To everyone reading this post, keep on kicking that cancer butt!!!!!! Helene
2:27 AM
Like·Comment
Post a comment...
Feb 29, 2008
PATRICIA’S STORY
My Name is Patricia and I am 45 years old, I Live in Roseburg Oregon .. I am married to a wonderful husband , have 3 grown kids and a grandmother of almost 8, I have alot of support around me to help me cope with fighting the battle myself. I was told I have breast cancer on July 25 of this year, I was very scared to face it all. Everything seems to go real fast , I went through 3 surgeries in 12 days , finally the last surgery my right breast was removed, I had 16 cancerous lypm nodes removed from my underarm . I lost my long hair 2 weeks after my first chemo treatment, I will have 8 chemo treatments altogether and radiation after. I had already 3 chemos done already, talking about trying to become a survivor, I am thankful I have found Fin , friendsinneed.com , breastfriends.com and now chemo angels who are all helping me fight the battle and win , together we will beat breast cancer. I Thank you all so much for walking with me on this journey, God Bless you all, anyone is welcome to email me, I will do my best to help not only myself but others along the way
Patricia A.
MICHELLE’S STORY:
My name is Michelle and I was diagnoised with Breast Cancer at the end of April. I two had infected lympnoids 6 total and also had my right breast removed. Im getting my 7th chemo treatment tomorrow and I too will have radiation. I lost my hair two weeks after my first treatment was given. I later lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. I am on a new drug called Taxotere now and its MUCH better than the first drug I was taking. My hair has even begun to grow back as well. Cant tell you how exciting that is.
I am 40 a single mother of two boys ages 9 and 11. Yes I do know how scared you are and how scared all of us are when we got our news. All I can tell you is that even when your not feeling good just remember it will be over soon. It goes by faster than you can believe. There were days when I didnt think I could do this anymore and now I am almost done. Be stronge and never give up the fight.
Michelle
End of Stories...
